Oh we all get our knickers in a knot every now and then. Lord knows I do. Yes even sweet little me.
And the old me used to carry her anger around for way longer than necessary. Pouting, by any other name. Unattractive in a child; ridiculous in a grown-up. My sister and I used to joke when one would ask “Are you okay?” and the other would answer in a squeaky, desperately not okay voice: “I’m fine!” I actually think she cured me of it.
But this grudge business is seriously not okay. Not only are you letting someone live rent-free in your head; honey he’s living rent-free in your heart. Do you really want to give your real-estate away like that? Your power? Your happiness?
I had lunch the other day with a smart, beautiful-inside-and-out friend of mine, and we were discussing an acquaintance who is holding a serious grudge. I mean like it’s running her life, possibly ruining her life. My wise beautiful friend repeated what she heard a wise therapist admonish: “Once you make yourself a victim, you’re screwed.”
Holding a grudge is not something that happens to you; it’s a choice you make. It’s choosing the other person–that mean, awful so-and-so–over yourself, over your own happiness. Stop it. You’ve got so much going for you–yes, you do. Choose to get on with your precious life. Don’t give one bit of it away to a person or a relationship that does not serve you. Why would you?